The Bigger Let Down

Hey all.
I went back home last Saturday with the sole intention to let off steam, after two weeks of question papers and whatnot. Economics paper 1 was my last actually, and I was exam-free for three days before that. I wasn't really under pressure I guess. Anyways, let off steam I did, by relaxing at my favourite spot in the house - in front of the television, laying comfortably on the floor after berbuka with my family for the first time this Ramadhan. And if you need me to clarify myself, yes I had performed my Maghrib prayer first before that. It had been a while since I last watched a football match at the comfort of my own home, so the match between Manchester United and Liverpool that night was something delightful to look forward to. I was, however, devastated by the result. What a let down. Normally you wouldn't expect them to play like they did that night. And thanks Brown for the contribution. At least O'Shea won't feel embarassed with himself anymore. Don't worry, I'm still a fan though.

On Sunday I was already bored to death. So I spent the whole afternoon watching the latest season of Gossip Girl. Aainaa was right. The script for the latest series is indeed shorter than the previous one, partly because this time around there are more making-out scenes than actual conversations taking place. Perhaps the actual plot lies in the "oohs" and "ahhs" rather than the usual dialogues. On my way back to college, our car was stopped by a guard and a small crowd by the roadside just outside the college area, not far from the guard post. Apparently a lady fell off her motorcycle in the dark. She didn't look so good I must say, nasib baik the guards had already called an ambulance. Then it struck me. Last year one of the top dogs in UEM Group bragged to the audience in his speech during the 10th Anniversary of KYUEM about how they had spent millions of ringgit to upgrade the college's infrastructures. Yeah right, many of the upgrades pun actually were on landscaping and unnecessary stuff. I mean, they even planted trees along the road to the college so that it would look more...inviting. What about lamp posts for safety purposes? Why were they not in the list as well? I bet many parents and visitors had complained about this before (and even SC had asked the management to consider the option), but so far, nothing is being done. I'm not being ungrateful here. I really appreciate the fact that our college now looks more elegant (if that's the right word), but you know. Dah la our college is located in the middle of nowhere, gelap pulak tu at night. Unless the lamp posts are set up to shed some light on us the poor souls of Lembah Beringin, in the dark night we dwell. Hoho.

And today I faced the music. The moment of truth. Many of us got our testpapers back today. And darn, my Economics result was so heartbreaking. It still is actually. Discussing the questions in class was a bitter experience, especially when you're the odd one out with such marks - at least that's what I thought, until a good friend of mine offered her words of advice. Nothing extraordinary in her words actually, nothing new. In fact, it is the same thing that I've been telling myself over and over again. But it's amazing how another person who tells you the exact same thing could actually convey it differently - and making it sound more interesting, more comforting and more memorable. And hence, I would not weep silently under the blanket nor putting on a long face all day long to commemorate the bad results. Lagipun, I know exactly why I didn't do so well this time. Complacency, my friend, is the keyword. My terrible mark for Econs Paper 1 was a clear reminder for me to not just feeling comfortable as if you're all set and ready to roll. The truth is, Encik Alif, you are still not! That's why you were caught underprepared in the exam hall that Saturday. But whatever. What's done is done right? At times like these, I totally understand that many of us would be so hard on ourselves. Go ahead, blame yourselves for not doing your utmost best, or cry if you must. But after that, please acknowledge the fact that it's now time to start anew.

(P/S: Jangan la sedey sangat Fatin, wokeyh?)